


Lost In The Night

by katling



Series: Dragon Age Alternative Pairing Week [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, kinloch, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7112158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events in Kinloch still haunt Cullen in the middle of the night. Mahanon finds out how.</p>
<p>Written for Day 6 of the Dragon Age Alternative Pairing Appreciation Week - Coping with the Blight/the Rifts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost In The Night

Mahanon knew about Cullen’s background, at least he thought he did. Cullen had told him about the Tower in Fereldan and about his time in Kirkwall, mostly in negative, angry, self-loathing tones that made Mahanon want to wrap Cullen up in his arms and take him away somewhere safe. Which would probably make the Commander laugh and blush but the pain in his voice always got every one of Mahanon’s protective instincts going and, as his clan could have told Cullen, Mahanon could be _very_ protective.

But what he hadn’t known about was the nightmares and how bad they were. Cullen had failed to mention _that_ part of it.

The first few nights he’d spent with Cullen, there hadn’t been any nightmares, mostly because their lovemaking had been intense and exhausting and they’d slept the sleep of the well-sated. But tonight was different. Mahanon’s day had been taken up with meetings with various nobles and by the time they’d finished, he’d been exhausted. He’d stumbled up the stairs to his room, moping a little about not being able to spend time with his new lover, only to find that Cullen was sprawled asleep in his bed.

He’d felt all warm and fuzzy at that and had spent a ridiculous amount of time just watching his Commander sleep before he’d finally stripped off and crawled into the bed. Cullen had murmured in his sleep as Mahanon had curled around him but had made no other movement and he’d drifted off to sleep quite happily.

Only to be woken by a garbled shout and something hitting his shoulder. Mahanon had been awake in and instant, rolling away from whatever had hit him, only to realise it was Cullen. When he turned around, he’d seen a pitiful sight. Cullen was curled up on his side protectively, his face pinched and twisted into an expression of terror and anguish. He was sweating and mumbling incoherent nonsense in a pleading tone.

He hesitated for a moment then he shifted over and placed a hand gently on Cullen’s shoulder. “Cullen? Shh, vhenan, it’s me, Mahanon.”

The man shuddered and twitched under his touch and he gave a low moan. Unfortunately it wasn’t the sort of moan Mahanon wanted to hear from his lover. Instead of being one of pleasure, it was full of fear.

“No… no… please… not him.”

Mahanon frowned, not understanding what that meant. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Cullen’s bare shoulder. 

“It’s alright, Cullen. Wake up, ma vhenan. You’re safe and can wake up.”

It didn’t seem to help. Cullen jerked back and gave a cry of anger and pain.

“No! Not his face. _Please_.”

Mahanon backed off and chewed on his bottom lip as he frowned. He then squared his shoulders and made a decision. He grabbed hold of Cullen’s shoulder and gave him a solid shake.

“Cullen! Wake up!”

His lover jerked awake with a gasp, his eyes wide and unseeing. He sat up and stared around the room in confusion then his gaze arrived at Mahanon. For a moment, his expression was blank then everything seemed to crash home and he made a pained noise and buried his face in his hands for a moment. He quickly raised his head again and looked at Mahanon with open distress.

“Please tell me I didn’t hurt you?”

Mahanon frowned then he gathered Cullen into his arms. “No, vhenan, not at all. Why would you think that?”

Cullen was stiff against him then he suddenly gave a shuddering gasp and buried his face in Mahanon’s neck and embraced him tightly, as though if he didn’t, he’d fly off into the night. He didn’t answer Mahanon’s question though. 

He gently tugged Cullen’s face out of where it was and cradled it between his hands. “Cullen, why would ask whether you’d hurt me?”

Cullen’s eyes darted everywhere but at his face and he licked his lips. “I… I’ve done it before,” he whispered. “When… when I shared a room with Samson in Kirkwall. I hit him a few times accidentally when he tried to wake me up.”

“That was good of him.”

Cullen sighed and closed his eyes. “He wasn’t always… like he is now. He was a decent man once.”

“Well, that’s a bit beside the point right now,” Mahanon said calmly. “You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t even take a swing at me. You…” He hesitated for a moment. “You were saying not him, not his face. What did you mean by that?”

Cullen shifted and Mahanon realised that if he didn’t have hold of the man’s face right now, he’d probably either have curled away from him or actually climbed out of the bed. Since he didn’t want either to happen, he climbed into Cullen’s lap and kissed him softly.

“Nothing you say to me will leave this room, vhenan,” he said intently. “And I will not judge you poorly for it. You must trust me.”

“I do,” Cullen whispered. “I trust you more than anything.”

“Then will you trust me with your fears, your horrors?” Mahanon asked. “I know I ask much and if you want to say no, I will accept and respect that but Cullen… ma vhenan… you have been so willing to help me carry my burdens, will you not let me help you carry yours?”

It was the right thing to say. Cullen shuddered and curled into him, wrapping his arms around him, seeking warmth and comfort that Mahanon was more than willing to give.

“I know I told you that I was a Templar at Kinloch Hold when it fell,” Cullen began in a shaking, fear-filled voice. “That blood mages, abominations and demons roamed the halls at will. That I was held captive and… and tortured.” He shuddered and clutched at Mahanon tighter. “I didn’t tell you that… they… the demons would come for me wearing different faces. Gregoir, telling me to give in. Irving, telling me I was weak. S… Solona Amell…”

He gasped and buried his face in Mahanon’s neck and the elf could feel the wetness of tears against his skin for a moment before Cullen continued.

“They tried to corrupt me,” he said in a dreary tone. “To… to seduce me. And when I resisted, they would come back and… and torture me some more. Make me…”

He broke off and this time, he did not continue. Mahanon didn’t ask him to. He’d heard enough to know that Cullen had been through hell. It certainly explained his reservations about Mahanon’s decision to recruit the mages as full allies though it didn’t explain why Cullen’s objections had been so measured. Surely he should have objected far more than he had!

“So in your nightmare, they came wearing… my face,” he said.

Cullen nodded. “Yes.”

“Oh, ma vhenan,” Mahanon said softly, pressing kisses against every bit of skin he could reach. “The demons are not here. I am me. And if I wished to seduce you…” He raised Cullen’s head so that he could see the wicked, mischievous smile he was sporting. “It is because I desire you for the most delightful of reasons.”

Some of Cullen’s tension and fear drained away and he even managed a faint smile. “I’m not certain I have any defences against your seduction.”

“Good,” Mahanon replied before kissing Cullen gently. 

He very much wanted to follow up on that with a true seduction but his lover looked tired and wan and a little broken. Now was not the time. So instead he coaxed Cullen into lying back down with him and he ran a soothing hand through his hair.

“Sleep, ma vhenan,” he murmured. “I shall watch over your dreams and keep them safe.”


End file.
